Burned Out and Unsure What's Next? 7 Questions to Ask Yourself First
Are you tired of being tired? Maybe you wake up already exhausted. Your to-do list never ends. Everyone needs something from you, and you can't remember the last time you had energy for anything beyond just surviving the day.
You keep thinking, "I just need to get through this week. Then I'll rest. Then I'll figure things out."
But next week comes and it's the same thing. And the week after that.
You're not just tired. You're burned out.
You can't just quit everything (bills exist). You can't just "take a break" (who would handle everything?). And you definitely can't keep going like this.
So you're stuck. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. And genuinely unsure what's supposed to come next.
If this is you right now:
This is a completely normal response to doing too much for too long with too little support.
You don’t need another productivity hack or "just push through it" pep talk. You just need to pause and ask yourself some real questions.
What Burnout Is
Burnout isn't just being "stressed" or "busy."
Burnout is when:
You can't remember the last time you felt excited about anything
You're constantly exhausted but can't sleep well because your brain won't shut up
You snap at people you love over tiny things and then feel guilty
You can't make simple decisions anymore (what's for dinner feels overwhelming)
You feel resentful about things you used to enjoy
You're running on autopilot and can't remember what you're working toward anymore
Sound familiar? It doesn't happen because you're lazy or weak or bad at managing your time. It happens because you've been giving more than you have for way too long.
Jobs, family stuff, putting yourself last for so many years that you don't even know what taking care of yourself looks like anymore. And then maybe add in the creeping fear that you're running out of time to figure out your life.
That's a lot to carry. Of course you're burned out.
The 7 Questions to Ask When You're Burned Out and Lost
Question #1: What Am I Actually Mad About?
"Underneath the exhaustion and overwhelm, what am I really frustrated or angry about?"
When you're burned out, there's usually anger underneath the tiredness. But we don't always acknowledge it.
Are you mad about:
Resentment? You're doing everything and nobody appreciates it
Unfairness? You're working this hard and still struggling
Loss of control? You feel trapped by responsibilities
Yourself? For choices you made or time you wasted
You don't have to fix the anger. You just have to acknowledge it.
Example: "I'm mad that I've been putting everyone else first for 20 years and now I don't even know who I am anymore."
Just writing it down releases something.
Question #2: What Would I Do If I Trusted Myself?
"If I believed I was capable of making good choices, what would I do right now?"
Part of what makes burnout so paralyzing is that you've stopped trusting yourself.
You second-guess everything. You overthink every decision. You're terrified of making the wrong choice. So you freeze and do nothing instead.
This question cuts through all of that.
Examples:
"I would tell my boss I need to adjust my hours"
"I would stop trying to keep up with people who have way more money than me"
"I would let my kids handle more of their own stuff"
You don't have to actually DO the thing yet. Just acknowledge what you WOULD do if you trusted yourself.
Because that tells you what you actually want.
Question #3: What's One Thing I Can Stop Doing?
"What's one thing I'm doing out of obligation, guilt, or habit that I could just... stop?"
When you're overwhelmed, everyone tells you to add things. Add self-care. Add boundaries. Add routines.
But you don't need to ADD anything right now. You need to let go.
Examples:
"I'm going to stop volunteering for that committee I only joined out of guilt"
"I'm going to stop making elaborate dinners every night. Frozen pizza is fine"
"I'm going to stop responding to every text immediately"
"I'm going to stop trying to keep my house Instagram-perfect"
Here's the hard truth: Some people will be disappointed when you stop doing things for them.
It’s difficult, but it’s okay. You can't keep burning yourself out to make everyone else comfortable.
Question #4: When Do I Feel Most Like Myself?
"When was the last time I felt energized, present, or like myself? What was I doing?"
When you're burned out, you forget there are things that actually fill you up instead of drain you.
Examples:
"Saturday morning reading with my coffee before anyone else woke up"
"When I was helping my friend organize her garage—I love organizing and we laughed the whole time"
"When I went for a walk by myself without my phone"
They're simple. Not expensive. Not huge time commitments.
But they gave you a glimpse of what it feels like to NOT be burned out.
The follow-up question: Can you do more of that? Even just a little?
Question #5: What Am I Afraid Will Happen If Things Change?
"What's the scary outcome I'm trying to avoid by staying stuck where I am?"
Sometimes we stay in burnout-inducing situations not because we can't leave, but because we're more afraid of what happens if we do.
Common fears:
"If I set boundaries at work, they'll think I'm not committed"
"If I stop doing everything for my kids, they'll struggle and it'll be my fault"
"If I admit I need help, people will think I'm weak"
"If I make a big change and it doesn't work out, I'll have wasted everything"
Your fears might not be wrong.
Setting boundaries MIGHT upset people. Changes MIGHT not work out.
But you know what's definitely happening right now? You're burning out. And that's not sustainable either.
So, which risk are you willing to take?
Question #6: What's the Smallest Step I Could Take Tomorrow?
"What's one tiny thing I could do tomorrow that would make me feel even 1% better?"
You don't need some big, overwhelming action plan. You can do something very small- and very do-able- to spark a change.
Examples:
"Text my friend and ask if she wants to meet for coffee next week"
"Delete three apps from my phone that stress me out"
"Say no to one thing I don't want to do"
"Ask for help with ONE task"
"Spend 10 minutes writing down what's stressing me out"
Small changes, repeated, create momentum.
Question #7: What Do I Actually Need Right Now?
"Not what I should need or what everyone else needs from me—what do I actually need?"
What do YOU need? Not your kids. Not your boss. Not your partner. You. And it doesn't have to be profound.
Examples:
"I need one day where nobody asks me for anything"
"I need to stop feeling guilty every time I spend money on myself"
"I need to sleep past 7am just once"
"I need help. Like, actual help"
"I need to believe that things can be different than this"
You can't meet a need you won't admit you have.
What Happens When You Actually Answer These Questions
I'm not going to tell you that answering seven questions will cure your burnout. But here's what it WILL do:
It'll give you clarity. You'll stop drowning in chaos and start seeing patterns. Specific things draining you. Specific fears keeping you stuck.
It'll help you feel less alone. When you write down what you're actually feeling, you realize you're not crazy. You're just human.
It'll show you where to start. Not with some massive overhaul. Just with one small thing.
It'll remind you that you have choices. Even when everything feels like an obligation.
And slowly, things will start to shift.
How to Actually Use These Questions
Pick ONE question. The one that hit hardest. Start there.
Set a timer for 10 minutes. Not an hour. Just 10 minutes.
Write whatever comes up. Don't edit. Just brain-dump.
Do this whenever you can. Not every day. Just whenever you have 10 minutes.
That's it. No pressure. No perfection.
I Made Something to Help You Through This
I created The Breakthrough Journal specifically for moments like this.
For when you're burned out and don't know what's next.
Inside you'll find:
✨ Daily prompts (5-10 minutes) that help you process feelings and spot what's draining you
✨ Weekly reflections that help you identify patterns and make small shifts
✨ Goal tracking that doesn't require having your whole life figured out
✨ Space to acknowledge what you need without guilt
And it's completely free. Get your free Breakthrough Journal here
You don't have to stay this burned out. You don't have to keep pushing until you break. You deserve to feel less overwhelmed and to trust yourself again.
Save this for the next time you're overwhelmed. And if you know someone burning out right now, send this to them.
You've got this. Even when it doesn't feel like it.
xo, Maggie
